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Coaches Want Parents to Understand


Here is a list of What Coaches Wish Parents Knew from the Youth Sports Research Council at Rutgers University.


While volunteer coaches are occasionally

responsible for conflicts that arise, youth sports

parents share equal responsibility for ensuring

that their child’s season will be beneficial and

rewarding. Accordingly, coaches should address

a number of “realities” with parents regarding

their child’s participation in organized youth

sports during a preseason team meeting.


Your child is not as talented as you think.

Parents get upset when they think their child is not getting a “fair shake." However, it’s impossible to be completely objective about our own children. Parents, therefore, must trust the coach’s judgment when it comes to assessing athletic ability and apportioning playing time.













Your child is more resilient than

you think.

Parents should be advocates for

their children. However, they

can’t and shouldn’t attempt to

solve all of their children’s

problems (helicopter parent).

Sport provides an opportunity for

children to develop character, but

only if parents allow youngsters to

experience occasional failure

and adversity.


Your athletic career is over.

Whether you were an

accomplished high-school athlete

or constantly picked last at recess

for kickball, parents must not

attempt to “right past wrongs”

or relive their youth through their

child. Experiencing the joy and

sadness of a child’s athletic

career can bring us closer to our

children and make life more

rewarding, but it’s their life –

let them live it.


Your child’s coach is doing the best they can.

Rarely, is a coach “out to get your child.” Parents must remember that the coach is a dedicated volunteer and strive to keep their criticism constructive. It’s also a good idea to say, “thank you” once in awhile.


Here's a few more items coaches wish parents knew. This comes from an article by Kasey Davis on Odyssey.


Don't coach from the sidelines.  

We understand the game is stressful and you want your kid to be great. That is what I am there for; it is extremely difficult to coach your child when you are telling them what to do. I am the coach, I do things the way I believe they should be done, it is hard enough to teach the girls to execute these skills correctly without you telling them to do it a different way. I volunteered to coach, and if you think you can do a better job, then you should have volunteered as well and had your own team. I know what I am doing, please let me do my job. You can relax and watch your daughter have fun playing the game that she loves.


Last minute, "My kid can't make it to the game" texts. 

I get it, there are other things going on in everyone's lives that have a priority over little league softball. But a lot of these things are planned ahead of time, which means you have plenty of time to let me know so I can find someone to fill your daughter's spot. It is very hard to make a line-up when there are girls missing last minute.


Yelling at your player for a mistake is not acceptable. 

Please do not scream at your 12-year-old. I promise

players won't get better by getting yelled at constantly

for every mistake. If there's anything I hate, it's hearing

a young player getting chewed out of for a bad throw

or a strike out. Do you think the player meant to make

the bad throw? Or did she intend on striking out? The

player knows the mistake was made. You are

discouraging your player. Now the player is too

worried about making a mistake or being an all-star

for you. If something is wrong, I am the coach and I will address it in an appropriate manner and we will fix it. 


Here's a final article by Dr. Barbara Green written for the Huffington Post


Cheer all you want, but don't focus your comments on the other team or the umpires.

Yes, it is perfectly fine for you to cheer your kids on, but it's not OK to scream at the other team or the umpire. You should be modeling good sportsmanship and displaying positive energy. After all, you are your kids' most important role model. Please don't forget this. 


Let the coaches coach. 

Please do not give your kids’ instructions during the game. This is the job of the coach. You may very well confuse your children by giving them a second set of instructions. Please, dear parents, let the coach do his or her job.


Let the kids have fun. 

Let your kids have fun and please refrain from acting like the outcome of the game is a matter of life or death. The most important thing that is happening on the field is that your kid is having a good time. Please don’t turn it into yet another arena for pressure.


Play well with others. 

Your kids do want you to attend their games, but they don’t want you and your ex to be fighting in the stands. Please spare your kids this embarrassment and humiliation. This goes for everyone in the stands - families of other kids, included. 

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